


Losing Control

by Kelkat9



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Shower Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-30
Updated: 2012-12-30
Packaged: 2017-11-22 23:51:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/615760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kelkat9/pseuds/Kelkat9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor lets loose the Oncoming Storm while protecting Rose and the guilt of it weighs him down.  As always, Rose knows how to make him better and won't allow him to suffer alone.  What better way to show him how much she loves him than with a bit of shower smutz!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Losing Control

**Author's Note:**

> For Callistawolf's birthday!!!!

 

   
He stood in the shower his palms flat against the cool tile as a powerful stream of hot water pounded on the back of his neck drenching the clothes he had failed to remove and washing the blood and alien bits off his aching body. He trembled as rivulets of water streamed over his down turned face as memories of what had happened raced through his tormented mind.

He slammed a fist into the tile and winced in pain as he began peeling off the sodden clothing and toed off drenched trainers until he stood there staring vacantly at the tile in nothing but a vest, pants and socks, the rest of his clothing lay in a wet pile beside him.

Rose was furious with him and he was hiding in the shower and this was no typical row for them. They were both passionate and stubborn and rowing was part of who they were, constantly challenging each other but it wasn’t out of anger most of the time. He loved her spirit and determination. Her eyes sparkled and he felt so alive when they had spirited debates over the right course of action for Torchwood or whether they should move out of their flat into the country or even over whether or not to have dinner with her parents. Sometimes, it was over more serious matters such as his neglecting to eat or sleep, his gob running over someone foolish enough to cross him or even his taking in a slightly deranged homeless person who ended up robbing them at knife point. Then, there were the emotionally gutting rows regarding his walking out on her and disappearing for days or her staring wistfully at the stars thinking of another him or even the topic they both avoided and Jackie loved to bring up, marriage and future domestics. Regardless as to the cause, they all ended one way, with the two of them tangled up in each others arms and usually in passionate make up shagging.

But this…this was different. It had seemed like any other normal Torchwood mission. Rose had gone on ahead to a crash site outside the city that looked to be nothing more than falling wreckage. She wanted to secure the area so no one wandered in and exposed themselves to anything dangerous. It was a simple quarantine situation, nothing dangerous. At least, not for someone as experienced as Rose. He had stayed behind to analyze the satellite data and prep the recovery team with what they would need for this particular kind of debris.

When the call had come in from one of Rose’s team who was injured and screaming for back up, he realized what had happened. This was not random debris but remnants of something involved in a battle. There were aliens tucked away in the wreckage. They used a compression technology to hide in the debris and when it landed they sprang free of the wreckage and began threatening the field agents. Rose and her team had been caught unaware when the praying mantis looking creatures began pouring from the wreckage and with sharp talon-like appendages. Her team had reacted to what they perceived as an attack, took defensive positions and raised their weapons despite Rose’s order to stand down.

Rose tried to calm everyone and had used the Doctor’s new translation device to communicate with the creatures who swarmed around her team and loomed over them in a threatening manner. Unfortunately, one of her team misfired his weapon and the aliens attacked, killing two of her team members and taking Rose and two others hostage.

 

***************

The Doctor felt terror trickling through him as he realized these were Mengazi, a warrior race known for laying waste to entire planets just to prove they were superior. He screamed for Jake and raced down toward the garage. Jake and several well armed teams met him and he quickly explained how dangerous the Mengazi were and that if they didn’t contain this, they would rain devastation across the planet. The teams were kitted out, tense and ready to do whatever they had to do. The Doctor, who normally would not have allowed any of them to be armed much less near an alien crash site, was lost in his own fear and anger. He would not lose Rose after everything they had been through. As they reached the site, some reason filtered in and he told Jake to hold the teams back and he would talk to the Mengazi and try and sort it out without violence. Jake was dubious about this plan but agreed.

The Doctor found two dead team members ripped apart, their bloody remains laying near the crash site and one team member laying on the ground wounded and moaning. He stared at the ship and Mengazi around it and saw Rose and another agent by the name of Benson, bleeding and being held by the aliens. Benson was practically comatose with fear, trembling and staring blankly at his dead teammates. Rose was trying to talk to the Mengazi.

The Doctor knelt down to assure the young injured agent she would be all right, his eyes never leaving the Mengazi who stared back at him with their black beady insect eyes. He stood back up and showed them he wasn’t armed, even though he was the most deadly person, alien or human alike standing there.

“There’s no need for further violence. No one wants to hurt you. Just let our people go and we’ll help you on your way,” he said, his eyes hard and a barely leashed violence bubbling beneath the surface.

The Mengazi could sense how dangerous he was even if the humans around him couldn’t and they tightened their grip on their hostages causing Rose to cry out.

“Doctor, just go. I’ve got this. The leader and me have been talkin. It’ll be all right if you just go and let us have some time. You threatenin’ them is only gonna make it worse,” Rose gasped and continued to try and talk to the leader who was now focused on the angry Time Lord before them.

“No. That’s not what’s going to happen,” he answered her darkly. The Oncoming Storm was radiating off of him as the fury he kept leashed oozed out at the thought of these creatures hurting his Rose. No one was allowed to hurt Rose…ever.

“Doctor, listen to me. You don’t have to do this. We can work it out. I’ve been talking to the Prime Leader and explained that we…” Rose said before being interrupted.

“No. They’re here to kill. That’s what they do,” he said coldly as his eyes narrowed on the creatures and he cocked his head to the side in a very alien way. His whole demeanor had changed from the teasing Doctor Rose knew to something else. He had been very good at killing during the Time War and no one knew, not even Rose, what he would do to keep her safe.

Rose tried one more time to defuse the situation. “Doctor, I’m tellin’ you to stop. I’ve just about settled this. Don’t be,” she said and cried out as the alien’s taloned appendage tightened on her cutting into her skin until blood flowed down one of her arms.

The scent of her blood and sound of her cries was all it took to drive the Doctor over the edge into madness. His lean, well toned Time Lord — Human body suddenly sprang forward with sonic in hand aimed at this enemy. Rage pounded through his mind and his only thought was “Protect Rose.” The aliens hissed and whined, tossing Rose aside in preparation for his attack. Jake and his team who had been observing rushed forward, armed to do battle. From that point forward, it was chaos. The Doctor’s sonic was set to cause the most damage possible, exploding the Mengazi from the inside. He was ruthless and with cold precision, gracefully moved among them in some macabre dance, destroying them utterly while Jake and his team cut them down with fire power. When it was all said in done, it was a massacre. All the Mengazi were dead and the Doctor was covered in their blood and worse.

When he found Rose buried among their carcasses, she was shaking and had tears streaming down her face. He reached for her and she slapped his hand away as she rolled the body of the dead Mengazi off of her.

“What have you done?” she screamed as she looked around in horror.

“What I had to in order to keep you and this planet safe,” he answered softly and with little emotion.

“No you didn’t!” Rose shouted as she shakily stood up, stumbling back a bit, still looking at the carnage around her. “You could’ve given ‘em a chance but you didn’t! You killed them all without a thought and didn’t listen to me. I told you I had it worked out.”

The Doctor looked at her irritated, still high from the adrenalin pumping through his system and although he would deny it, a little giddy at having beaten his foe. Part of him, a dark part, was proud at destroying his enemy and saving Rose. He was cocky. “No it wouldn’t!” he finally shouted back at her. “I know them. You don’t. These creatures are ruthless. They don’t negotiate and they have no compassion.”

“Yeah, well that might be so in our universe but these here just wanted to go home! They were on their way back when their ship got hit by a comet they couldn’t avoid. They weren’t here to invade! We could’ve helped ‘em!” she shouted.

“Look at yourself! They were hurting you! They killed some of your team!”

“It was a mistake, an accident and you’d of known that if you’d given ‘em a chance. What happened to you? You used to give ‘em a chance and now…Now I don’t know who you are,” Rose said shaking her head.

“I’m the Time Lord who loves you and needs to keep you safe!” he bit out.

“Oh, so I’m more important than all these lives?” she asked in a cracked voice

“Yes!” he shouted back now completely aggravated with her. How could she not know that?

“You’re wrong. I’m not and neither are you. I thought I knew you, thought you said you were my Doctor. My Doctor wouldn’t have done this.”

“You’re Doctor would have done anything to keep you safe and that’s me,” he said in a clipped voice. “I can’t live without you. You are everything!” he said emotionally, his voice beginning to break.

Rose stared at him and backed away. “I’m not worth this and if being with me does this to you….” She whispered, tears pouring down her face. “I…I don’t know,” she whispered looking down at the corpse that had been on top of her shielding her from the destruction the Doctor had rained down on all of Mengazi. Jake ran up and asked her if she was okay and she shook her head and started trying to take charge as she walked away with him, leaving the Doctor staring after her.

He remembered looking around and feeling it all sink into him what he’d done. It was like all that fire and anger drained away leaving a cold husk behind. Rose was right. He did what he had always lectured Torchwood against and now he had yet more lives, more death to add to the heavy burden that weighed on his conscious. He walked silently away ignoring the team calling out to him and kept walking all night into the morning until he reached their flat. It was obvious Rose had not been home. He had gone to their bedroom and stared at the unmade bed. That was the bed they had snuggled and loved each other in the previous morning and now he wondered if he would ever know that peace again. He heard the door shut and walked straight into loo, shutting the door and turning on the shower to try and drown out the sound of his own guilt and horror.

So immersed in his own personal agony, he didn’t hear the door open or Rose slip into the steam filled room. She saw him leaning into the white tiled wall, his shoulders shaking as his grief spilled out mixing with the water pouring down his body and which did nothing to wash him clean of what he had done that day. Rose knew he had walked home. Pete had made sure to have someone keep an eye on the Doctor as he plodded his way home while Rose cleaned up and debriefed at Torchwood. She still bore the physical evidence of what happened but it was the internal wounds which hurt the most. She blamed herself. After all, he had done it for her. Not long after her initial accusations and anger at him, she felt her own guilt pour down over her like hot oil scalding her from the inside out.

So many had died that day and she held herself responsible. It was her job to secure the site and she should have handled first contact with this species better than she had. Things had escalated and it was her fault she didn’t find a resolution before her back up arrived, before the Doctor arrived and reacted to the situation out of fear and love. That was the crux of this. It had been personal because of her. If it had been anyone else, he may have maintained a sense of objectivity but because he perceived his lover threatened, he did what anyone would have done, any human that is and that was the twist. He was part human now with one mortal human life that he wanted to spend with her. There was no way she could judge his actions. If their roles were reversed, what wouldn’t she do to keep him safe? Had she not torn her way through the void to not only save her planet but to find him?

There was enough guilt to spread equally between them. Maybe they loved it each other too much. The irony of that was not lost on Rose who had once wondered if love was the cause of their problems. Was it that love for each other early on in their relationship that made each of them hold back and hesitate out of some fear of hurting the other and losing what they had? Of course, that changed on a beach in Norway when this him stayed with her but she always wondered about choices made or not made before Canary Wharf. None of that mattered now. The Mengazi were dead and he was suffering alone and she just couldn’t bear that. It was time to stop hurting and start mending and reaffirming who they are now, the Doctor and Rose, the stuff of legends, two people in love who won’t allow anything or one to keep them apart. Maybe that made them the most dangerous creatures in the universe or maybe it just made them selfishly in love like any human couple.

Rose stepped into the shower and put a hand on his shoulder. He stiffened and looked over at her, through the pouring water, his eyes haunted and nervous. Then, he took in her nakedness and the compassion in her eyes. His first feeling was relief but that was mixed with guilt and fear. She had seen the darkness within him, the ugliness he had tried to hide from her. He had feared it would drive her away and yet, she was standing here before him with concern in her eyes. He didn’t think he deserved it.

“I’m sorry about what I said to you out there,” Rose said softly as she looked at him in his sopping clothing, her hand gliding across the warm cotton plastered to his skin until she reached the waistband of his pants. “I’m sorry they died but I’m even more sorry that you were ever put in a position to…” He put his fingers on her lips before she could finish and shook his head no. She wrapped a hand around his wrist and laid a gentle kiss on his finger tip and walked up closer to snuggle into him. He held her tight to him feeling her nipples press through the thin material of his vest as her arms wrapped around his waist, her hands diving underneath his wet vest.

He gasped as he felt her rub against him and begin peeling the wet vest off. Once he was free of it, he yanked her to him until she was plastered against him. Her tongue darted out and tasted his chest and she gently nipped at him. He inhaled sharply his face pointed at the steady stream of the shower. He looked back down at her and his eyes darkened. He thought about how close he came to losing her and pulled her forcefully to him, his mouth covering hers in a brutal kiss.

Rose knew he needed this and opened her mouth and returned the kiss just as fiercely. She sucked at his bottom lip and thrust her tongue into his mouth to meet his own. He moaned and gripped her arse and pulled her against him so that she could feel his arousal. Her hands threaded into his hair as their tongues danced and explored one another. She pulled back with a gasp and stared deeply into the eyes of the Oncoming Storm. “Never again,” he said as they stood in the cascading waters.

“No, never again,” she answered, as she tugged his pants down, freeing his hard length. He kicked the offending clothing away and tried to push her against the wall.

“No,” she said, looking up at him as her hand encircled his erection, her fingers trailing up, down and around him, nails gently grazing him in a way she knew he loved. She licked her lips and sank down onto her knees, still looking up at him.

“Rose,” he growled.

“Let me do this for you. Please,” she said, her voice husky.

He nodded as she rested one of her hands on his hip, her thumb unconsciously caressing him while her other hand continued trailing up and down, her thumb barely grazing the moistened tip making him gasp and unconsciously buck his hips forward. She slowly took his tip into her mouth, her tongue caressing him gently and darting quick licks over his tip while she still grasped him and her thumb continued caressing his base rhythmically. His fingers entangled in her hair holding her to him as she sank down further taking him in a little at a time. He felt her tongue tease him as she increased her suction and he slid in and out of her mouth in a slow steady motion.

Rose took her time memorizing the warm feeling of him against her tongue, his taste, the groans and gasps he made when she touched him on a particular sensitive area. His grip tightened as she gently grazed his rigid flesh with her teeth and she could feel him tensing. He was oh so close. She moaned as she sucked and gripped his hips, her nails digging into him slightly and felt him lean forward, one hand planted on the tile wall as he called out her name. She released him with a pop and looked up to see his face tightened, his eyes slammed shut as he tried to maintain control. A feeling of satisfaction and power filled her. He was going to lose control and she was going to make sure of it. He would learn there were good ways of losing control where no one died. This would be resolved right here, right now in this steamy shower with her on her knees and his cock in her mouth. She took him in again her lips slowly sinking down and massaging him as she went and hummed onto him. He cursed loudly and his toes curled and his hand tightened painfully in her hair. Her cheeks hollowed and her tongue made one more firm swipe before he shouted her name and spilled himself into her mouth. She continued her ministrations until he was done and staggered backwards a step.

She looked up at him, her eyes filled with love and lust as her mighty Time Lord stood wobbly in the shower leaning back against the wall just out of the reach of the pouring water. She gave him a cocky smile. He quirked a smile back at her. “You…you,” he started to say before he could catch his breath and form something more coherent than a growl. “You naughty Rose you. I intended for this to go…differently.”

“Did ya now?” she said as she stood up and stretched, her breasts thrust out and as she allowed the water to wash away the traces of her accomplishment. She rubbed her hands over her face pushing her hair back and took a step closer to him swaying her ships as she closed in on him. She trailed a finger down his toned and finely haired chest. “So my all powerful lord of time, what you gonna do now?” she asked with a bit of attitude.

He arched a brow and his eyes slid lazily down, cataloguing every curve of her body. He walked forward pushing her back under the falling water and reached for a bottle of shampoo. “Maybe clean my dirty impulsive companion,” he answered as he squeezed some soap into his hands.

Rose gave him a cheeky grin showing just the tip of her tongue. “Mmmm. Guess I can’t turn down a good sudsy sexcapade.” He smirked and turned her around to face into the shower spray which had chilled slightly from the steaming hot shower he had been enjoying. She shivered when she felt the cool shampoo gel touch her scalp or maybe it was the feeling of his fingers working the soap into her hair. He started at the top of her head, his hands massaging and scraping her scalp and working his way downward. He moved in closer until she was leaning against his chest as he worked the suds around her neck running his fingers around her ears, his fingers caressing the shell of her ear and onto her neck. Soon he was angling the water to wash the suds away and began washing the rest of her.

The scent of vanilla filled the steam filled shower as he worked up a lather in his hands and began slowly with long measured strokes washing her back and arms, pausing at her bum to give her a gentle squeeze and then pulling her close so he could reach around and start cleaning her front. As he reached around, he laid more gentle kissed on her neck as his slippery hands cupped her breasts, his fingers lightly pinching her nipples eliciting a moan from her as she fell back against him feeling his arousal against her. His hands glided down across her stomach and tangled in her damp curls as he began nibbling and gently tugging at her ear lobe. She arched into him giving him better access to her neck as his fingers dove into her moist folds.

His fingers glided in and out of her while his thumb torturously circled her clit brushing against it ever so gently, making her gasp. Between the pounding water, his nipping her neck and his clever fingers plunging into her and teasing her, she thought she would come right then and there but ever the patient Time Lord, he stilled his fingers, pressing one particularly sensitive spot and pushed her against the steam dampened wall.

“Now then,” growled into her ear. “No more running off on your own to face anything,” he said and shifted her stance and positioning himself at her entrance while his fingers still teased her.

“Tell me…tell me how long you’re gonna stay with me,” he demanded and thrust into her, his hands now gripping her hips hard.

“Forever,” she gasped.

He thrust forward hard, pushing her against the tiled wall. “Promise me!” he demanded in a strained voice as he moved inside of her.

She moved with him, reveling in his desperation and his rough thrusts which seemed to hit her in just the right spot. “Want you forever! Promise you forever!” she called out as he continued his rhythm and slammed her into the tiled wall. A few more well placed thrusts and he was biting down on her shoulder as she screamed his name as she clenched around him and felt warmth course though her body as he shuddered into her. They collapsed against the wall and after Rose caught her breath she turned and looked at him, damp with droplets of water clinging to his hair and running temptingly down his neck.

“I love you,” she said softly, gazing into his eyes.

He pulled her into his arms and hugged her murmuring, “I love you too,” into her neck.

“Next time, some rubbish debris lands, we do it together, yeah?” she asked.

He snorted. “Still jeopardy friendly.”

“Oi!” she exclaimed and pushed at his chest.

He grinned down at her. “I wouldn’t’ have it any other way but next time…the old team together, shiver and shake.”

“Who’s Shiver?” she asked smiling at him.

Just then, the hot water ran out and the Doctor yelped. “Me! That water is bloody cold!”

Rose laughed out loud. “Well then Shiver, move your arse and maybe I can warm you up if you’re ready for another go,” she said and swatted him on said arse as she pulled him out of the now cold shower.

Once she threw a towel out him, he professed. “Rose Tyler, I’m always ready for one more round with you!”

* * *

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.  



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